Product Reviews
When Cows Kill
I’m a bovine author. Name is Truman Cowpoke and I write mooder mysteries. I write about the life of cows, violence, and yes, even bovine death. Words cannot express the horror I feel, as a mystery writer of true cow crime while researching the death and destruction that can occur in “greener pastures”. Of course there are no cowincidences and anyone who says there are may just be udderly silly and full of b.s.
Maybe I’ll one day write about the moohem and destruction of this beast, and do no justice. Even the late great author of “Being There” and “Painted Bird”, Jersey Cowzinsky or pop diva Bovinna, who sang and performed Mooterial Girl so beautifully, could feel my emotions regarding violence in the bovine cowmunnity. I don’t even think The Boss, Bruce Holstein could (even though he was “BORN IN THE USDA”) But cows are just farm animals. Not a lot of justice in such cowmmunities; unlike, say Bambi and other artistic animals. The Deer Artist, oh starry starry night, Venison Van Doe, may have stroked it with a brush, he probably never even noticed a cow. Oh, the shame.
So maybe organized crime is to blame. We have heard rumors of the legendary Al Cowpone and his La Cudstra Nostra, but not much is known about them. More recent legends of course include the more gentle cow, Demi Moooer, Hugh Heffer, and the like. But the cow is poetic. How can we ever forget Bulliam Shakespeare’s “Moo be, or not moo be?” And you tell me cows are should be ignored. Got cream?
I live life one day at a time. I jog a bit, even prepare myself for the Bullston Mooathon, though chances are skim I’ll make it to the finish line. Just cuds I love cows doesn’t make me odd. Many a cow-lover has gone on to become a legend in his own mind. Take Alfalfa for instance. We all know his famooos saying, “I dub cows!” And truly, who could we take more seriously than Alfalfa (even though Alfalfa is eaten daily by cows). Maybe he has some Moochistic cowacteristics, who knows, but he said it.
So there. If you don’t want to hear about cows, how to solve the social problems that are so prevalent in their lives, then moooooove along little doggie. I don’t want my epitath to read “He Cowld Have Done Better”. I believe I’ve milked this story for all it’s worth.
Massage Chair Review: The Omega M-2 Orion Recliner
The M-2 Orion massage chair is the entry level massage chair by Omega. Omega Massage designs strikingly aesthetic massage chairs with advanced technology. This review will evaluate some of the salient features of this massage recliner. Let us take an in-depth look at the M-2 Orion.
Omega is one of the best massage chair brands and has national distribution. Distribution is important because it signifies that the company has retail clients and has staying power. There are many companies that sell massage chairs at home shows and the internet. Potential buyers must be very careful because they may end up with a chair that does not work and no parts and no service. If you stick with the top brands you will not have these problems.
Omega provides good warranty coverage for an entry level massage chair. The Orion comes with a 1 year warranty on the frame and 6 months on parts. Customer service is always another important issue. If you have an issue, then how well does the company handle these situations? Omega provides good customer service. They are responsive and diagnose problems quickly and accurately. We have had an excellent track record with Omega over the years.
The M-2 has an attractive executive look to the chair. This sleek, contemporary design will compliment almost any room in the house. We like the thin chair back and the thick padded armrests. There is silver trim on the side panels giving it a nice designer touch. Omega is known for its striking massage chair designs and the M-2 is certainly no exception.
The Orion is equipped with both manual massage techniques and full automatic programs. The manual massage techniques include swaying, kneading and rolling. We particularly like the swaying which is reminiscent of getting a Hawaiian style massage. The automatic programs operate the entire chair and provide full body coverage. There are 3 automatic programs with durations of 5, 10 and 15 minutes, respectively. The M-2 also allows you to select certain regions of the back. You can massage the full back, lower back or the upper back. The slim remote neatly tucks away in a molded slot underneath the armrest.
The M-2 has 23 inches of stroke length for covering the back. This means that the roller mechanism moves 23 inches from top to bottom. The chair back can recline from its upright position of 115 degrees back to 170 degrees. The M-2 is upholstered on the back of the chair back which is a nice touch. Most massage recliners have a hard plastic shell which can be a bit unattractive. The leg rest and the chair back are moved using manual control levers. They will bring the chair back up or leg rest up, but the user must push them down.
The seat has two types of massages built into it. There are eight rotary massage heads in the seat to provide a soothing massage to the buttocks and thighs. The massage level can be set to 3 different levels for your comfort. Additionally, there is a vibration massage in the seat as well. The vibration can be set to 3 levels of intensity to stimulate the capillary vessels enhancing blood flow.
The leg rest is extendable. You can extend it out an additional four inches. This is great to position it exactly where you want on your calf or feet. The leg rest has a mechanical massage system built in to provide a very thorough and invigorating massage for the calves. The massage intensity or speed can be adjusted to 3 different levels. The leg rest can also be adjusted in a 90 degree range and will come up to the full horizontal position. The leg rest works with a manual lever. The piston will push the leg rest up, but the user must use their legs to push it back down when you are done.
The M-2 Orion massage recliner is one of the best values in its class. This entry level chair provides an effective and thorough full body massage. The recliner comes with a unique Sway massage which is similar to the Hawaiian style massage. The Orion comes with many functions which you would find in many higher priced recliners. Omega provides good warranty coverage for this model. If you are looking for an entry level massage chair, put this one on your short list.
